Thursday, May 19, 2011

Making The List

You know it, the Guest List. It is what everyone is trying to get on, and now it is your turn to make it. This aspect of planning a wedding is either really easy, or really difficult. It is all up to you. This is key. You must lay down the terms now before someone in your family decides for you. They all mean well, but if you waffle on whom and how many guests to invite, there are plenty of people that would love to step up to the plate. This is how marriages break up before they begin. Do not be scared, though! This is easily avoided. Just sit down with your fiancé first to talk this out. You have two factors to consider here:

1. Budget – why? Because caterers charge per head, that is why.
2. Preference – Some gals want an epic turn out, others just want an intimate circle of family and friends. Remember, you are on stage performing, so it is up to you to decide how many people you want watching.

                Once you know these two things, the rest is a snap. Sit down with your fiancé again and start that list. Of course, consider the people closest to you first. That one is easy. Depending on your budget and approximated guest list quantity, you may find that everyone you invite is a close friend or family member, and that is pretty awesome. But some of you may have to deal with a few difficult ones. Coworkers from your new job or your distant cousin that you do not know well but she invited you to her wedding. These are tough, and if you have room on the guest list, I say invite them.  They will appreciate the gesture whether they come or not. If you find you are running out of invitations, just draw a figurative line in the sand and remember to tell your coworkers and distant cousins that you are having a small wedding and only invited close family members and a few friends.  They will understand. If they do not, they probably have never been married. So it is likely that one day they will understand. Do not sweat it, do what is right for you and your fiancé. 

                NOTE:  Do not invite exes. Period. No one needs the added complication of latent feelings or memories of past relationships on the most stressful day of your life. This is a onetime deal, so focus on your future with your husband to be. Plus, no matter how progressive your boy is, he is likely lying if he says it is cool with him to invite your Heisman trophy winning, Mensa scholar, underwear modeling ex boyfriend. He may act like he does not care, but he will be grateful later. Remember, this is the first day of the rest of your life, so start it out with a strong declaration of respect and complete admiration for the man you want to spend forever with.

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